Well, it's Memorial Day Weekend again, and what better way to kick off the 3 day weekend with a party. Of Course you're going to have to plan the party. We've got all the basic essentials, but there are a few things we still need.
Mission 1: Obtain a Cooler
In the warm Memorial Day weather, you don't want to have to go in and out of the house every time you need another cold beer. So, we decided to go to town & pick up a brand new cooler. My buddy, Josh will be doing the purchasing today.
We took the exit to everyone's favorite Missouri small town. Okay, well it's not everyone's favorite. I know a lot of people can't stand Arnold. It's where my roots are from. It's where I lived for the first 12 years of my life, and where I went to School. It's really not too bad, it just turned into a huge shopping center. They have just about anything you could ever want to buy. So, we decided, lets go to the somewhere where we won't have any difficulty finding a cooler.
Yep, that's right, Wal-Mart. This picture is hilarious to me. I mean look at it. The Arnold Tower is right in the background of this picture. It doesn't get anymore white trash than this. But hey, we don't want to be looking around all day for a cooler.
When we got inside, we couldn't believe how many coolers there where. All in different styles, sizes, & colors. There was one that held 160 quarts. That was a little too much. There were also many of them that had wheels & handles so you could roll it around.
So, we decided to go with the 60 quart one, which had built in wheels, plus it had an extendable handle, which made it easy to transport it where ever you want. Remember, this stuff is important when picking out a cooler. So Josh paid 20 bucks for this, which we thought was a great deal Okay, so it looked like Mission 1 was complete. Now we go to Mission 2.
Mission 2: Cheap Beer & Ice
Our plan was to hit the gas station near the location of the party for a 'Dirty Thirty' of beer. We decided to go with a 30 pack of Natural Light, because it's cheap, and well it's cheap.
Okay, Okay, so this mission really wasn't too hard. You can go to just about any liquor store and get this mission completed, but it was a critical part of the party plan.
I know what you're saying, "But, Greg!, how do we go about loading a cooler up? I don't have any idea. Well click on me loading the cooler, for an instructional video of how to load up the cooler.
Mission 3: Wiffle Ball (Bat & Ball)
Our next plan was to have get rousing game of Wiffle ball. Everyone loves wiffle ball right?! Well, the plan sounded easy. We found out it wasn't going to be an easy task. Who would have thought it would be so hard to find a Wiffle ball bat & ball set.
Our first attempt was at Save-A-Lot. A local grocery store that usually has small little toys, like a wiffle bat. But, of course this time, there was nothing. Nothing at all.
While in the parking lot at Save-A-Lot, we saw some strange guy in a pink shirt and shorts. He staring at the sky we looked up, there was nothing up there. It was like he saw something that no one else did. He never looked anywhere else, just kept looking at the clouds. Perhaps he was high.
Our next try was at Dollar General Store. They always have tons of crap like this. We thought, oh, they've got to have a set here. I mean, if you've ever been in a Dollar General Store, you'll see that it's one step above Goodwill or the Salvation Army. It's like a garage store, with a normal door instead of a garage door. By that I mean, that just about every one I've been to is a total mess inside, no organization, and all the aisles are so tightly packed, you couldn't push a cart through the store if you tried.
Well, foiled again. Curses Batman, where are we going to find a bat & ball!? Where?! We had already been to Wal-Mart, so we really didn't want to go all the way back to check there. Plus, it was getting late, guests were going to arrive for the party soon
So, making a long story short, here's what happened. We checked about 3 more gas stations. Nothing, We went back to the party location. I went out on a solo journey. I went to another Dollar General, A Casey's General Store, and finally I found a bat & ball at Queens. Queens is a supermarket that you can only find in small towns. Or at least that's my perception of it. It's a tiny store, but they had what I needed, so hip hip hooray. The party can begin.
When Jeremy arrived, me, Josh & Jerm were put on another Mission, we'll call it mission #4.
Mission 4: Buy Coors NA
Okay, Okay, you guys are probably wonder why we were sent on a mission to buy some Non-Alcoholic Beer, well, there is a reason for that. You see Josh's wife, Kim, is pregnant, and for some reason she wants the taste of beer but without the alcohol in it. So, her favorite flavor is Coors NA. Our first stop, was The Spirit Shop (south location). We had no luck. All they had was Busch NA, and according to the shop keep, Busch NA taste like crap!
So, we decided to try Queens, I had luck earlier finding a wiffle ball bat there, so lets try. Well, same thing, the only non-Alcoholic beer they had was Busch NA.
Josh was like, well, the next stop, if they don't have Coors, we'll just have to get something else for her, or nothing. The next stop we found some O'Doul's.
It's not Coors NA, but it made her happy. So, no Mission 4 was complete.
People start to arrive, so now the Grilling & drinking can begin. People have brought an assortment of meats to be barbecued. Today's menu consists of Hamburgers, Bratwurst, Pork steaks, & Chicken. So, Pretty much anyone should have what they want. If they don't, well, they should have brought what they wanted to eat. BYOM, bring your own meat, so that means if you want Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon, you should have brought it. So don't complain, and eat what we have available.
We're all starting to laugh at the dumbest things now. But that's okay, that's the reason for drinking everything is funnier.
Okay, it was time for Wiffle ball. We played 4 on 5 or 5 on 5. To be honest, I can't remember. When we started the Wiffle ball game, I was on beer #7. We hadn't eaten yet, or did we eat. Another thing that happens when you've been drinking. So, the game was on, I wish I would have had someone film the thing with my camcorder, because I hit 3 home runs. Apparently I was really starting to feel the effects of alcohol, but it only made me a better Wiffle Ball player. I ended up getting all the RBIs for the team. It was the bottom of the ninth, the other team was up, We were winning 4 - 2. Then they scored 2, and tied it up. We had another inning to score a run, but we missed out and the other team scored 2 to beat us 6 - 2. It doesn't matter though, it was really fun.
In the morning when I took a shower, I noticed that I had a huge mark on my left side. I remembered what it was from. When we were playing Wiffle ball I got beaned right in the side with a ball. I didn't realize it was thrown hard enough to make a mark. Apparently I was wrong.
Drunk people are entertained very easily. For example, the photo above made me laugh very much. A girl giving herself a dick with a Wiffle ball bat. That's priceless! That's Mike holding the 'boner', Robin is the one with the hard on, and Tammy is Mike's Wife on the far right.
So here's how it looked: Me, Josh, Jeremy, Mike, & Jeff were the only ones drinking. But we did manage to drink so much that we needed to make another beer run. I told you about The Spirit Shop south. Well, Spirit Shop North is right behind Josh's house. Only a walking distance away.
Somehow, your pictures start looking really bad, the more you've been drinking. This is supposed to be a picture of the spirit shop. You can kind of see it. For some reason I decided to turn off the flash on my camera.
So, now we're happy again, because of the purchase of more alcohol. For some reason it seemed like a good idea at the time to get more, but now it's just too much to drink all of it.
So, we gathered round the roaring fire. Okay, it's a citronella candle. But it's all we had. It may not of kept us that warm, but the mosquitoes stayed away. We also flipped on some tunes from the past like the cd Injected by the Phunk Junkeez
All of a sudden we noticed that Jeff has left for a long time to use the bathroom. What happened to him? Well, we went inside to notice him asleep.
Well, I knew there was just about enough drinking when Josh's chair fell over. So, I went in to fall asleep myself. I guess everyone followed later. In the morning I found out that Robin came to pick up Jeremy & Mike around 2am.
With the morning sun up and the sight of empty bottles & cans everywhere, we realized it had been a successful Memorial Day party. And now I have documented proof of that.
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