Steven Seagal’s Energy Drinks!

Read Time:2 Minute, 2 Second

Hey Everyone…

So, I was at Wal-Mart last week, when I noticed one of the craziest things on the shelf, Energy Drinks endorsed by Steven Seagal. I immediately had to buy them. At a buck a can, it seemed like a pretty good bargain. Usually drinks like Monster, Rockstar or Red Bull, are about 2.50 a pop. These were cheap, but they had something that the other 2 didn’t have, Steven Seagal.

asian experience

They came in 2 flavors, The first flavor was called “Asian Experience”. It was supposed to have something called Goji Berries in it. I have no idea what Goji berries are, but I figured since the can is a bluish / purple color, it should be some sort of grape, blueberry or blackberry flavor.

cherry charge

The second flavor was called “Cherry Charge”. I figured this would be the tastiest of the 2, since anything with cherry is usually pretty good. I mean, look at Cherry slurpees, they’re one of the best beverages out there.

the side of the can

The side of the can states the following: ” This long lasting energy elixir is made with ingredients from all over the globe. Tibetan Goji Berry Asian Cordyceps, B-Vitamins, Ginseng, Guarana. Sweetened with all natural imported organic evaporated Cane Juice Crystals.” So, it seemed to have the same claim as most energy drinks, except, this one would make you be able to use martial arts to fight bad guys in bad movies.

yuck!

So, I tried them. I must say, the cherry one tasted exactly like a cherry, if it was rolled in shit, and covered in honey. This is probably, the thickest, nastiest beverage I’ve ever drank. Jagermeister tastes delicious compared to this stuff. I couldn’t drink more than a sip of this 16 fl oz can.

barf!

The Asian Experience one was even worse. It tasted like a rotten grape. I couldn’t get through it. I even like grape popsicles. I figured if anything, it would taste similar to that. But, I figured these 2 “energy drinks” needed to be poured down the drain.

thumbs down

In closing, I would have to say that these are the worst tasting beverages I’ve ever had. And really, I’ve never encountered a beverage like that before. Mr. Seagal has plastered his picture on an inferior product. Angie hated them too. I would have to say, she sums up these drinks better than I can. “These drinks are as bad as Steven Seagal’s Acting”.

– Greg
03/31/07